Some Important Tips

Ever since I am a father of 3, so many people asked me "So when are you going to have your 4th?" It's such an easy response, now that I have at least 3-4 people asking me every week. I'm really very blessed to have a lovely wife and three awesome children. And yes, having a 4th one is indeed in our family time line, just that it will be probably in another 2 years time, when Gwen is turning to 3. Feel that we need to space out slightly longer for the 4th one.

Honestly speaking, God really helps us in many ways, providing guidance and for both Josh and Kate, they are creative and caring in their own ways. Eve has been the main pillar in the house, to assist the children and to guide me the right way to handle the children.

Having 3 children, your learning curve is always growing and growing (limitless). It really takes effort from Eve, mother in law and I to come together to manage the family. It's like a family business everyday, every single minute. You will definitely grow as a person :)

Below are some important things I feel it's worth mentioning ever since I have became a dad...

1. Patience

Yes, patience is indeed a learning curve for both of us. And it is, and will always be. We have to show patience in playing with them, teaching them and reading too. When questions are asked, we have to think of appropriate and correct words to reply them. And honestly, some questions are just too 'deep' rooted such as 'Why, Daddy?', 'Why, Daddy?', 'Why, Daddy?' one after another of Q&A. This just tests your level of intelligence. The way they look at you when you are thinking, it's really classic because they feel that we know all the answers! Try it. It's fun! You'll definitely grow as a person, to be a more patient one.

And no matter how tired you are, you have to try to accompany them to play, read books and this process of stretching your tiredness in flesh will make you stronger! It's strange that you suddenly feel energetic when all of your children are asleep! :)

2. Part of your life

I got this great sense of 'they are REALLY a part of my life' when we brought Kate to an ENT specialist to remove a foreign object in her left nose! Apparently, there is something in her nose and the child doctor spotted it when she had cough! We were so devastated! At the clinic, Kate screamed so loud as we grabbed her body with a towel as the ENT specialist (Dr Chan K O) tried his best to remove the round foreign object out. During the 2 minutes of calming and holding Kate, it donned on me that every child's experience is part of ours and it's up to us to make it right and be there for them. Finally, the foreign object was out and it was a blueberry. Trust me, she has no idea when she placed it in her nose, but luckily, she didn't have any infection. Apparently, according to the ENT specialist, it's normal for toddlers to have foreign objects in their nose (buttons, kit kat, etc).

The following week, Eve was during art and craft with the two children. And guess what happened? Josh was handling a paste-on eye, and he smelt it, and it went into his right nostril. The next moment, he wanted to take it out, but it went in! And it was out of sight in his nostril! We immediately went to bring him to Mount Alvenia, which wasted our time there as they are not so proficient in the ENT check. We went back to the first ENT Specialist (Dr Chan K O) and Josh was so terrified when a scope was required to check his nostrils and throat. He was wrapped with a blanket, just like Kate then, and I just feel it's just so painful for him to undergo this. He screamed but what we can only do is to pray and calm his tensed up body. Finally, it was all clear and doctor said it might be in his stomach already. I'm not sure why these similar incidents happened so close, but we just want to thank God that everything was fine and it's definitely a learning lesson for both Josh and Kate.

We just need to be there with our children, in their growing up process, and be the pillar of support for them in good and bad times! A healthy child is really priceless, no doubt about that.

3. Role models

One day, Eve asked Kate, "What do you like to be when you grow up?"

Kate replied, "I want to be Josh."

Eve asked Josh, "What do you like to be when you grow up?"

Josh replies, "I want to be like Daddy." 

Josh asked, "How about Gwen?" And he self answered to us, "Gwen will be a big sister!" 

Wow! We are so touched by these answers by our children! So politically correct, but definitely true to their hearts! 

Eve asked Josh,"Do you want mummy to work just like daddy?" 

Josh replied, "No, I want mummy to be with me always!"

So sweet right?

In fact, they see both Eve and I as role models and now, they even self role play to take care of their toy babies and teddy bears! From changing diapers, to feeding, and making their toy to sleep, it's just mimicking us. They simply enjoy what we adults are doing. At times, they will play 'working' and they will pretend to take a bag and go for appointment. Answering calls with their toy bananas. It's just so sweet and they are so cute! We really hope that all of us will love one another forever and they will reciprocate to people around them, to help and care for others.

4. Honesty

Children teaches us to be honest. And they are very honest in nature. What is sweet smelling, smelly, beautiful and ugly - they will tell you straight and truthfully. I'm just so amazed that it's just the right behavior that we should carry in our everyday lives! Their honesty keeps reminding me to be honest to everyone I meet, and also in my line of business too! It's just too simple and important for everyone to be. We, adults, should also answer our children honestly to the questions they ask. And you will not feel there will be anything wrong with it.

5. Communication with spouse

This is very important because it keeps each other updated and we will think of suitable ways to improve the learning process of the children, effective words to use in front of children, planning meal diaries and spending time without the children.

We have to know that It's not about children, children and children once you have a child/children. The main thing we get married is because of each other. And I'm so glad that we still do things together as a couple, at least once a week! Once, we even went for a couple massage and it was really a good experience! And we go cycling, swimming together. And it's just so important to do activities together, to remind us once again that we are married to each other, not married to our children. Love it so much! In fact, every Tuesday is our 'off day'. :)