Josh and Kate: Sharing
Well, Josh is now coming to 4 in 4 month's time, and Kate is coming to 2 in 3 month's time. And I was thinking that we can have a '2 Kate 4 Josh' event. How does that sound? 'To Kate For Josh'?
Recently, Josh has been quite attention seeking even though we have given him quite a bit of attention. Now, he loves to just take from Kate everything and anything she holds. And this is becoming quite a habit of his. And both Eve and I have patiently talked to him and reminded to say 'May I' to Kate. At times, he did. At times, he didn't. And Kate will actually hide the stuff behind her back and will run away. And Josh will follow her quickly, causing Kate to be fearful and she cries.
It's certainly quite hard to keep reminding Josh about this and Kate, being herself, will at the end, pass to him, and Josh will then feel 'contented' to win. This is actually quite tough as Kate has her own rights, but Josh just didn't want her to have the rights to the toys, any of the toys. How can be like this?
I really hope that Josh will realize his role as a big brother, a sharer, even so when our third child is born. This 'not-sharing' syndrome is actually quite common among siblings of his age. And we, as parents, will try our best to resolve these conflicts. Staying calm is a virtue and at times, we mustn't flare up because it will make us feel as a bad kid ourselves.
The children look to us as their role models, and if we flare up, it will be a back fire because they will remember it and will apply too. Hence, in situations like this, we will do these things.
1. Ask Josh to say 'May I'. And this is a polite way of asking.
2. Ask Josh to pass Kate another toy for her.
3. Pass Josh another toy.
4. Ask Kate whether does she want to share?
It's all relative. At times, it's fine to distract them with other things. Sometimes, it isn't. Suddenly both children wants the unattractive toy egg on the floor! There are so many other eggs, and they just want that particular toy egg. This is really quite mind-blogging. And if all else fails, we will separate both of them, and distract them by doing other stuff like...
1. Watering the plants
2. Give the better behaving one a small treat. E.g nuts, chocolate
3. Carry the child to see the bus or car
4. Go to the room and play wrestling
Honestly, it is tough but I believe that most parents will have to go through this phase. Our children are growing and we are growing as parents too. All the trials and errors have to be made. Hopefully, Josh is able to display a more sharing attitude towards his sister. Other than that, he is actually a sweet child, helping everyone in the chores, plays his train toys creatively and also active in sports!
Patience and consistency are the keys.
And most importantly, his love language is touch. And he needs a lot of hugs to assure him that what he has done is right. E.g to pass to Kate a toy. To ask 'May I' to Kate. When we see these acts, we actually acknowledge and applaud for it! This is something he is happy and loves too!
Let's just keep trying and trying...
Recently, Josh has been quite attention seeking even though we have given him quite a bit of attention. Now, he loves to just take from Kate everything and anything she holds. And this is becoming quite a habit of his. And both Eve and I have patiently talked to him and reminded to say 'May I' to Kate. At times, he did. At times, he didn't. And Kate will actually hide the stuff behind her back and will run away. And Josh will follow her quickly, causing Kate to be fearful and she cries.
It's certainly quite hard to keep reminding Josh about this and Kate, being herself, will at the end, pass to him, and Josh will then feel 'contented' to win. This is actually quite tough as Kate has her own rights, but Josh just didn't want her to have the rights to the toys, any of the toys. How can be like this?
I really hope that Josh will realize his role as a big brother, a sharer, even so when our third child is born. This 'not-sharing' syndrome is actually quite common among siblings of his age. And we, as parents, will try our best to resolve these conflicts. Staying calm is a virtue and at times, we mustn't flare up because it will make us feel as a bad kid ourselves.
The children look to us as their role models, and if we flare up, it will be a back fire because they will remember it and will apply too. Hence, in situations like this, we will do these things.
1. Ask Josh to say 'May I'. And this is a polite way of asking.
2. Ask Josh to pass Kate another toy for her.
3. Pass Josh another toy.
4. Ask Kate whether does she want to share?
It's all relative. At times, it's fine to distract them with other things. Sometimes, it isn't. Suddenly both children wants the unattractive toy egg on the floor! There are so many other eggs, and they just want that particular toy egg. This is really quite mind-blogging. And if all else fails, we will separate both of them, and distract them by doing other stuff like...
1. Watering the plants
2. Give the better behaving one a small treat. E.g nuts, chocolate
3. Carry the child to see the bus or car
4. Go to the room and play wrestling
Honestly, it is tough but I believe that most parents will have to go through this phase. Our children are growing and we are growing as parents too. All the trials and errors have to be made. Hopefully, Josh is able to display a more sharing attitude towards his sister. Other than that, he is actually a sweet child, helping everyone in the chores, plays his train toys creatively and also active in sports!
Patience and consistency are the keys.
And most importantly, his love language is touch. And he needs a lot of hugs to assure him that what he has done is right. E.g to pass to Kate a toy. To ask 'May I' to Kate. When we see these acts, we actually acknowledge and applaud for it! This is something he is happy and loves too!
Let's just keep trying and trying...
