Growing babies
It's pleasant that at times my children are well behaved, "angelic" at times. For Kate, she would laugh at things when we laugh. For Josh, he would be a gentleman by saying "Thank you Daddy / Mummy" when offered something to him.
The otherwise happens too. Children between 2-4 years old do have their fair share of tantrums as now, they are in their explorative nature, testing grounds and their limits. The more '"NO"s we mention, all the more these little adults want to do the otherwise. And at times, Josh will be unhappy. What do I do?
Of course I will be unhappy and what we have read is there are a few rules to tackle it. I have made a few mistakes there and then. I'm of course fine tuning.
Rule Number One
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Never shout or beat your child.
Speak to him and ask softly, "What is the matter?" and if can, distract him (not using iPhone if possible). And bring him away from the situation and talk to him privately.
Many a times, we may shout immediately and things will not solve it from there. It may make matters worse and your child may end up crying even more. How pleasant? And I have read that your child may even learn to shout or hit others in class, if we do the same to him. Just try to distract him, and if unable to calm him, carry him away to one side, and talk to him. Do not lose your cool.
Rule Number Two
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Never give in to their requests, unless deem logical.
For example, they wanted to add more maple syrup in their pancakes. Just ask them, "Are you sure?" And you can add a little bit more, since their portion finishing.
There are some requests that are quite illogical. For example, he requested, "I want to eat Macdonalds", especially when we pass by the restaurant. I would reply that we have to ask Mummy about it. How about we go to the library? If it didn't turn out right, ask is he hungry. Probably he is and choose an alternative snack for him, such as nuts or apples.
Fast food restaurants is not a 100% avoidable place. We patronize it about once a month, so that they can have a tinge of unhealthy things in their body. I always stress to him that it's only once a month.
I have tried to inject logic in his requests. Once I explain to him, for example, the stall is opened only at night, the food is very sweet, it will make you sick, etc, at times, he will buy it and life goes on. Try reasoning with him. But try not to bluff them saying things like "Policeman will catch you," quite a grandma tale but it's ridiculous.
Rule Number Three
------------------------
We should hug him after he has calmed down. Saying we love him.
This is good way for us and after a while, he knows he is in the wrong. And he will say he will not do it again after we asked him.
Congratulate him by giving him a genuine hug and everything will be all to normal again.
I'm still learning and to be frank, I lost my cool a few times. It's good to go out awhile or take a few breathers before you act. Think before you act because violence will leave a mark on your children. I remembered mine. Eve remembered hers and the amazing thing is that it happened so many years ago. But we chose to remember. Past experiences learnt, I really hope it won't pass down to our children. At times, Eve is the one who calms the whole situation. That is why parenting involves two parents, otherwise it will only be termed 'mothering' or 'fathering' isn't?
Some pictures to share
-----------------------------
On a less serious note, Josh's classmate came to our place and they played toys together! Seemed like our house was transformed to a mini kindergarten again!! Kate loved it so much...
The otherwise happens too. Children between 2-4 years old do have their fair share of tantrums as now, they are in their explorative nature, testing grounds and their limits. The more '"NO"s we mention, all the more these little adults want to do the otherwise. And at times, Josh will be unhappy. What do I do?
Of course I will be unhappy and what we have read is there are a few rules to tackle it. I have made a few mistakes there and then. I'm of course fine tuning.
Rule Number One
-----------------------
Never shout or beat your child.
Speak to him and ask softly, "What is the matter?" and if can, distract him (not using iPhone if possible). And bring him away from the situation and talk to him privately.
Many a times, we may shout immediately and things will not solve it from there. It may make matters worse and your child may end up crying even more. How pleasant? And I have read that your child may even learn to shout or hit others in class, if we do the same to him. Just try to distract him, and if unable to calm him, carry him away to one side, and talk to him. Do not lose your cool.
Rule Number Two
-----------------------
Never give in to their requests, unless deem logical.
For example, they wanted to add more maple syrup in their pancakes. Just ask them, "Are you sure?" And you can add a little bit more, since their portion finishing.
There are some requests that are quite illogical. For example, he requested, "I want to eat Macdonalds", especially when we pass by the restaurant. I would reply that we have to ask Mummy about it. How about we go to the library? If it didn't turn out right, ask is he hungry. Probably he is and choose an alternative snack for him, such as nuts or apples.
Fast food restaurants is not a 100% avoidable place. We patronize it about once a month, so that they can have a tinge of unhealthy things in their body. I always stress to him that it's only once a month.
I have tried to inject logic in his requests. Once I explain to him, for example, the stall is opened only at night, the food is very sweet, it will make you sick, etc, at times, he will buy it and life goes on. Try reasoning with him. But try not to bluff them saying things like "Policeman will catch you," quite a grandma tale but it's ridiculous.
Rule Number Three
------------------------
We should hug him after he has calmed down. Saying we love him.
This is good way for us and after a while, he knows he is in the wrong. And he will say he will not do it again after we asked him.
Congratulate him by giving him a genuine hug and everything will be all to normal again.
I'm still learning and to be frank, I lost my cool a few times. It's good to go out awhile or take a few breathers before you act. Think before you act because violence will leave a mark on your children. I remembered mine. Eve remembered hers and the amazing thing is that it happened so many years ago. But we chose to remember. Past experiences learnt, I really hope it won't pass down to our children. At times, Eve is the one who calms the whole situation. That is why parenting involves two parents, otherwise it will only be termed 'mothering' or 'fathering' isn't?
Some pictures to share
-----------------------------
On a less serious note, Josh's classmate came to our place and they played toys together! Seemed like our house was transformed to a mini kindergarten again!! Kate loved it so much...
Grandma among all the children's toys
Beautiful Kate with a toy
Josh cooking his infamous egg dishes
Josh's friend, Ji Yu, posing at the camera.
Love this photo. It's like our house has turned into a mini childcare centre
We have read that a child should have at least 30 minutes of outdoor activity everyday. In the morning, either Eve or me will actually bring them down for a bicycle ride or just a walk to the playground. This not only enables us to have bonding, but most importantly, to let them have an active life. Kate is slowly picking up her motor skills in one vehicle. And Josh is learning on his Kazam bike. Will post more next time!
