Parenting with Confidence Part 1
I'm really amazed as to what Parenting really involves and it's fun!
Eve and I have been attending Parenting with Confidence course and it has enriched us dearly on the appropriate approaches to manage children's behavior, expectations and how to love them! I'll make it 3 parts!
I'll share about the loving children.
Buying toys for children are not loving them. Telling them 'I love you' is not enough. What we can do is to experiment what kind of love language our child is! There are 5 of them. I have been taught to give these to my spouse. It didn't occur to that our children also needs it too!
1. Acts of affirmation
This is so good when we praise our children specifically to what they have done right. Try not to use 'good boy', 'nice job, Kate.' This is too generic.
Once we have praised correctly and with details, it will make the child feel appreciated and love. They will boost their confidence too.
2. Giving gifts
This is interesting. I haven't been giving a lot of gifts to my two children. However, I feel Josh is a little to this love language.
We can probably occasionally get things that the child loves. And give it with a reason, so that they remembers.
For example: we can give Josh a set of train tracks, to congratulate him for painting so well in class.
And we can give them surprises!
- hide the gift under the blanket for them to find
- wrap the gift
- give them clues to find the gift in the house
It makes gift giving so exciting for both parents and children!
3. Quality time
This is super important. I learned that for your children to be close to you in the future, you have to spend quality time today.
And for the first three years of their lives, if you miss it, it's very hard to form the kinship anymore. It's crucial!
Think of ways to do things together without any distraction of phone or television.
Example:
- to paint an art
- to go library together
- to play Lego together
- read story books together
- pack the house
Make the event interesting and put yourself in the child-like mode!! I love to do this and my children will literally lol about it! For example, for Three little pigs. I will sing the story. And imagine blowing the house in front of them...
4. Acts of service
This one I'm not sure my children craves for it. However, to me, cooking for them is an act of service to them and my family. I wonder they appreciate it!
5. Physical touch
Josh is more to this and for boys, they tend to want to have hugs. And it is important to know that when he lacks attention, you have to go and attend to him. Show him love when things was done wrongly.
All things are done for a reason! And it's up to us, parent's decision to know what to do.
Find that this course has enabled us to have these additional skills. And this course should be attended by couples who just got married or soon going to be parents!!
**Most importantly, the parents themselves must have enough in their emotional tank! If it runs out, how do you expect to give it to the children!? Couples must love each other via these love languages and isn't it wonderful if everyone has this?
Eve and I have been attending Parenting with Confidence course and it has enriched us dearly on the appropriate approaches to manage children's behavior, expectations and how to love them! I'll make it 3 parts!
I'll share about the loving children.
Buying toys for children are not loving them. Telling them 'I love you' is not enough. What we can do is to experiment what kind of love language our child is! There are 5 of them. I have been taught to give these to my spouse. It didn't occur to that our children also needs it too!
1. Acts of affirmation
This is so good when we praise our children specifically to what they have done right. Try not to use 'good boy', 'nice job, Kate.' This is too generic.
Once we have praised correctly and with details, it will make the child feel appreciated and love. They will boost their confidence too.
2. Giving gifts
This is interesting. I haven't been giving a lot of gifts to my two children. However, I feel Josh is a little to this love language.
We can probably occasionally get things that the child loves. And give it with a reason, so that they remembers.
For example: we can give Josh a set of train tracks, to congratulate him for painting so well in class.
And we can give them surprises!
- hide the gift under the blanket for them to find
- wrap the gift
- give them clues to find the gift in the house
It makes gift giving so exciting for both parents and children!
3. Quality time
This is super important. I learned that for your children to be close to you in the future, you have to spend quality time today.
And for the first three years of their lives, if you miss it, it's very hard to form the kinship anymore. It's crucial!
Think of ways to do things together without any distraction of phone or television.
Example:
- to paint an art
- to go library together
- to play Lego together
- read story books together
- pack the house
Make the event interesting and put yourself in the child-like mode!! I love to do this and my children will literally lol about it! For example, for Three little pigs. I will sing the story. And imagine blowing the house in front of them...
4. Acts of service
This one I'm not sure my children craves for it. However, to me, cooking for them is an act of service to them and my family. I wonder they appreciate it!
5. Physical touch
Josh is more to this and for boys, they tend to want to have hugs. And it is important to know that when he lacks attention, you have to go and attend to him. Show him love when things was done wrongly.
All things are done for a reason! And it's up to us, parent's decision to know what to do.
Find that this course has enabled us to have these additional skills. And this course should be attended by couples who just got married or soon going to be parents!!
**Most importantly, the parents themselves must have enough in their emotional tank! If it runs out, how do you expect to give it to the children!? Couples must love each other via these love languages and isn't it wonderful if everyone has this?
