Large Families in Singapore Part 2
Someone asked me this question. "Why do I want to have so many children?"
At a moment, I was stunned. I need to answer in a calm and politically correct manner. I just answered because I love children!
After the person left, I just wondered why the person asked me this question when the person has children already. And it just made me feel weird...
Anyway, I have came across this stigma that having a child will lose your freedom. Having second child will have your finances even tied down and no life. Having a third one means when will you be having your fourth one?
Is having children really so troublesome and tough? Not really.
Think about this...
Trying to bring forward. I recently met a lady doctor. She is in her 50s and she has 4 daughters! Eldest is 28, and all of them are 2 years apart. The family picture shows a happy family!
My gynae has 4 boys and all study overseas. They are still doing very well and happy too. And when one heard it, the word 'success' comes into play. Not only he is successful in the career, he is also successful in his family too.
This is what life is about. It's not ONLY about career, it's about managing both career and family together. It certainly needs careful planning and budgeting.
Having children definitely has it's tiredness and patience is often tested. Nothing is easy. I googled some large families and some families are really amazing and quite similar too!
-Prepare home cooked meals
-Have minimal or no loans
-One parent stopped working for awhile and have a sole breadwinner
-Good budgeting
-Siblings share the household chores
-The children have simple schedules to follow
-The children love their parents
-Parents didn't like to have other people or institutions to take care of the children
I've heard of real life story
- This lady gave birth to 4 children. 2nd and 3rd child were taken care by the nanny full time. She had to work 2 jobs, while the husband is not working when they were young. When they grew up, the 2nd and 3rd child are not close to her at all! Didn't want to go out with her and talk to her. The parent- child relationship is certainly close to dead. The mum is sad, but what can she do? This regret is painful...
It's really sad to hear about this story because career and money were so important then, and the time spent on children was compromised. Back then, she had no choice because she had to work and the husband didn't want to do anything. Hence spouse is a very important factor. (That's beside the point) The main summary is the main caregiver was the nanny and hence, there was no actual relationship formed between the children and parents.
Families really need more commitment from parents. It's not for large sized families but for even a family of 3! We should focus on family so much more. I feel we can rely on our parents to take care, but don't over rely on them. We, parents, should play the ACTIVE role instead.
Humans thrive on love, not money. Love is an important ingredient for every individual. Our children are smart and they know who takes good care of them, and learn from elders and parents. They don't tell lies and they are truthful in their thoughts and words. If they love you, they REALLY love you. The otherwise is true too... So do take more time to spend the childhood with them. It is really utmost importance!
I have also came across this phrase.
"No man is rich enough to buy back his past." By Oscar Wilde
It's so amazing phrase, isn't it?
I would like to modify it to
"No man is rich enough to buy back his children's past."
